A Journey to Healing Through Divine Mercy

Foundress of the Entering Canaan post-abortive hea... Read more

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How Far She's Come

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Below is an excerpt from Marian Press author Theresa Bonopartis' book, A Journey to Healing Through Divine Mercy: Mercy After Abortion. For Theresa, the healing from her own abortion came through Divine Mercy. Since being healed, she has dedicated her life to helping others suffering in the aftermath of abortion.

At 18, I honestly believed I was the only one not having sex. I gave in to peer pressure and slept with someone I was seeing occasionally. I remember vividly the day I phoned the doctor for my test results and learned I was pregnant.

After months of denial, I was nearly four months pregnant, so I knew the answer long before the word "positive" was uttered. I was overwhelmed by a range of feelings: happiness at the thought of a child growing within me, but also fear of telling my parents — the reason I had "denied" it for so long.

I immediately told the father of the child, and we decided to get married. Although we planned to tell our parents together, I blurted out the truth to my mother and father. Their reaction took me by surprise. Shocked, angry, and disappointed, they told me to leave the house and forget that I was their daughter.

... They believed that premarital sex was wrong and thought it would be a disgrace to have a child out of wedlock. At least, I thought, my parents were practicing Catholics and would never ask me to abort my child. I left the house with no job, no money, no home, and nowhere to turn, feeling utterly abandoned and alone. It wasn't long before the baby's father and I broke up. Still, I was certain I would not get an abortion. I wanted my child.

A friend's mother invited me to stay in their home. ... During this period, my father sent several messages urging me to have an abortion. He even offered to pay for it. I refused. But as I began to feel more desperate, I decided, finally, to let the abortion happen.

... Thirty years later, I still can't remember how I got to the hospital. But I do remember being alone in the hospital room when a doctor entered, and I'll never forget the sadistic look on his face as he injected saline into my abdomen.

No one explained to me the baby's development or what the abortion would be like. I had no idea what was going to happen. I lay there just wishing that I could die. I could feel the baby thrashing around as his skin and lungs were burned by the saline. He was dying. Labor began. After 12 hours of labor, alone in the room, I gave birth to a dead baby boy.

I looked at his tiny feet and hands. All I wanted to do was to pick up my son and put him back inside of me. I couldn't fathom what I had done. I rang for the nurse. She came in, picked up my son and dumped him in what looked like a large mayonnaise jar, a jar marked "3A." Then she left the room and I was alone again, filled with hatred for myself. The thought of death seemed comforting. My downward spiral had only just begun.

Editor's note: Theresa's eventual conversion came about through a powerful experience of Divine Mercy and the prayer, "Jesus, I trust in You."



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